Hell of a town...(Part 1)

I really wanted to write this yesterday while everything was still really fresh in my head but hopefully I'll still be able to do it justice.

Ingredients for a successful Chicago trip:

Step 1: Fly into Midway Airport. Fuck a whole bunch of O'Hare. You will end up sitting on the runway, bored out of your skull.




Step 2: Find a free place to stay, preferably with someone who has a nice place. That way you'll be able to save enough money for Step 3...




Step 3: Drink. A lot. Yeah, drinks there ain't cheap...but they're not any worse than in DC.

Step 4: If you end up in a ultra-trendy bar or club by mistake, find the most down-to-earth people in there and chat them up. Chances are, you won't want to stab them nearly as much as the nouveau glitterati.

Step 5: If any of those people give you their phone number before leaving, put in the correct name. This will eliminate any awkwardness when you go through your phonebook the next day and can't figure out who the fuck "Spanky" is.

Step 6: If, for any reason, you are invited back to some girls' apartment to hang out after closing time, make sure that her stupid drunken boyfriend isn't wandering around there shirtless and talking shit about you like you're not in the room. If you do find yourself in this situation, bail before you have to fight him. It'll save everyone a lot of trouble the next morning.

Step 7: Don't forget to eat! Also, make sure you don't go anywhere that serves white-people food. That shit fuckin' sucks!

Step 8: Find out from a cool local what will be going on while you're in town. It'll save you a lot of trouble down the line. (Mad props to Bree, for telling us about the Q101 Block Party)

Step 9: Drink. A lot. It will make you like Interpol far more than you did before. Queens of The Stone Age, however, need no assistance in kicking ass.




Step 10: If you're at a show, wearing a t-shirt with a joke about strippers on it, and the girls standing in front of you keep stealing glances at your shirt and giggling, find out if they are A) On mushrooms or B) are, themselves, strippers. If it's both, make sure and get at least one of their phone numbers.




*So apparently this is running a little longer than I thought it would. I think I'm going to break it here and continue with Part 2 a little later. Your crappy little attention span will thank me for it...*