First crack at 'Random Question' proves too much for Blogger

In filling out my profile, I came across the "Random Question" at the bottom and figured I'd give a go at answering it the best I could. Like many things in my life, the answer seems to have gotten a little out of hand. I was informed by my new buddy "Blogger" that must limit my answer to a mere 150 characters. Asking me to edit my answer is akin to asking me to choose which of my children was to be killed by the Nazis (though I guess if you knew me, you'd know that I hate kids so it really wouldn't be much of a choice at all.) What am I saying here? I guess I'm saying that you, Blogger, are worse than Hitler! Now without any further hot air, I present you with the most important question asked since "How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?":

Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

My answer:

Of course not! They obviously evolved from the trident. You see:

Back in ancient times the God of the Sea (also known as 'Aquaman' in the secular world) wanted a way to share the delicious fruitas del mar with people of the non-mer variety. Since, unlike Aquaman, the humans could not telepathically command the fish to jump into their mouths (and the culinary wonder known as 'the fish-stick' was still centuries away from invention,) the fork was invented as a way of transporting the delicious fish from the sea directly to the hungry peoples' mouths.

If history has taught us anything, it is that the fork was the not only one of the earliest advancements in seafood technology, but far more significant than many of its successors (including fire and the $9.95 all-you- can-eat shrimp sampler at your participating Red Lobster.)