You're effin' kidding me, right?

So apparently on April 1st, a shit-ton of dateless losers decided to plant their fat fanboy asses square in front of the famous Chinese Theater in Hollywood to wait for tickets to George Lucas's upcoming bloated, self-serving debacle entitled Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Ludicrously Long Titles. It seems as if several of these inbred toolboxes have banded together and started a website chronicling the next month's greasy adventures in sitting on their asses.

Wow, it's going to be a real page-turner, I'm sure:

-"Day one...sat here and played PSP. Got laughed at by hundreds of passerby."

-"Day two...argued with Jim about midichlorians as a metaphor for the potential in all living beings...tried to play PSP only to discover that the battery has roughly the same life-span as a fruit fly. Got laughed at by overweight Midwestern tourists wearing Hawaiian shirts and sandals with black socks."

-"Day five...today, some unbelievably hot looking women were walking by and stopped to ask us what we all were waiting here for (even though the fact that Rob and Steve were two feet behind me fighting with plastic lightsabers should have given it away.) When I told them that we were waiting in line for tickets to the next Star Wars movie, they proceded to mace me and repeatedly kick me in the balls until I had no choice but to curl up on the ground, sobbing until they turned away in disgust. Still, that was the most contact that I've ever had with a member of the opposite sex, so I guess this counts as my best day ever!"

-"Day eleven...so cold...so hungry...Oh, and got laughed at by hundreds of passerby."

-"Day fourteen...the hunger is unstoppable. Steve was the first to succumb. His sacrifice, however was not in vain as, not only did his significant girth provide all of us with a hearty banquet but the ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi came to me and told me that if I hollowed out his lifeless corpse (Tauntaun style) I could use it as a sleeping bag to get me through the chilly nights ahead."

Actually, that's probably MUCH more interesting than their blog so I guess I'll have to stop right now. Anyway, the point I guess I was trying to make is that while I would have once considered myself a Star Wars fanboy, there is no way in HELL I'd have even waited for a month in line to see Episode 1 even though it had been like 20 years since the last Star Wars movie. I mean, did any of these retards even SEE the last two movies? I mean they ranged from "Shit-on-a-stick" to "Unen-fucking-durable!" These people have to know what they're getting into here. You can only have so much blind faith, you know? It's like waiting in line for over a month for voluntary rectal surgery. I just don't get it. Hopefully, one or more of these people will have an "Oh, I've wasted my life!" sort of epiphany, while standing in line (or at the very least, after they finally leave that theater in May)...but I'm not holding my breath (well, unless I happen to walk past any of those kids as I'm sure the stench is unbearable.)