The Numbers Game

I guess I'll just post something short since I haven't really felt like blogging recently. I don't know why...I just feel kind of drained, creatively I mean. So it's ID4-plus-1 and here I am, back at work again. It's pretty dead here because everyone else was smarter than me and took the day off...well, actually that's not true. I basically ended up getting screwed (again) because my coworker decided to schedule a shoot for today and then take off, leaving me to deal with it. I guess I don't really have any right to be bitter, when I've been here as long as he has (and, by the way, shoot me if that happens) I'll make sure to dump as much crap as possible on the new kid, if only so that the cycle continues in perpetuity.

Anyway, like I started to say...I'm back. For those unfamiliar with current events, I've been at the Jersey Shore (Long Beach Island, to be exact) for the past couple of days. I've never been there before but I guess I pretty much knew what to expect. Pretty standard beach community, if not a little cleaner than what I'm used to. Now I'm by no means a "beach person," I burn too easily...but whenever the opportunity presents itself, I still manage to be the first in line. Family, high school pals, girlfriends, it doesn't matter. Something about the ocean gets me every time (though the beach itself is a whole 'nother thing. I hate the sand, it's coarse and it gets everywhere...) This time, the rogues gallery incuded some guys that started out as "my video gaming friends" but evolved at some point into actual friends. It was initially myself, Kevin, Jon, Dennis, and Paul but at some point, the roster expanded to include x-factors Nick (Kevin's brother) and Kelly (Paul's girlfriend.) The point of the trip? Relaxation. Mission accomplished? Not so much...

Here's a breakdown:

-Number of days spent at the beach: 3 (essentially)

-Amount of time actually spent ON the beach: 45 minutes (at about 4:30 in the morning)

-Number of hours spent "relaxing": 6

-Number of hours spent "recovering": at least 20

-Dollar amount of electronics contained in the house before we arrived: >$300

-Dollar amount of electronics contained in the house after we arrived: <$2500

-Number of episodes of "Chapelle's Show" watched: 4

-Number of times "Chappele's Show" was quoted: Approx. 200

-Number of times Jon refused to laugh out loud at either "Arrested Development" or "Reno 911," (even though you could tell he really wanted to): at least 10

-Number of clubs visited: 4

-Number of cover bands seen: 4

-Number of cover bands that thought they were hot shit: 3

-Number of cover bands that were actually hot shit: 1 (and it was 2 middle aged guys playing oldies covers on a guitar and keyboard for a bunch of senior citizens)

-Number of Bon Jovi songs heard: 2

-Amount of times I heard those same 2 songs: at least 6

-Number of times I actually wanted to kill myself after listening to aforementioned Bon Jovi songs: 5 (it was novel the first time, being Jersey and all)

-Number of increasingly bizarre text messages sent to friends while krunked: 5 (I think Matt ended up with the 'A' material...)

-Number of drinks consumed: 30 (counting homemade Beam & Cokes)

-Average price of a drink at the bars: $6.00

-Number of well poured drinks: 2 (and they were both at the wood paneled oldies bar)

-Number of meals eaten: 8

-Number of meals actually eaten at mealtime: 0

-Number of meals I'd describe as "fucking awesome": 1 (and, of course, I cooked it myself. Jon, and whoever else ate either the shrimp or the veggies, can back me up on this.)

-Best name for a dish: Stoner Pancakes

-Best time to eat Stoner Pancakes: 3:30 am

-Number of times I was burned by Nick Kelly's cigarette while waiting to order Stoner Pancakes: 3

-Number of "attractive" girls seen: Hundreds

-Number of girls I actually found attractive: 3 (maybe 4)

-Number of templates used to create the rest: 2 (the molds used were "Blonde W.A.S.P." and "Irritated Jewess.")

-Number of douche bags with pink shirts: 5

-Number of douche bags with their collars up: 13

-Number of smartass comments made about said douche bags: Infinite

-Amount of fun had by all: At least 5 trash bags full

-Number of drinks we all owe Kevin for being the ship's captain: Several

So there you have it. While it's a little longer than I'd originally intended, that's a pretty accurate representation of the trip...save a few boring details. Chances are, other pieces of the whole story will be available via everyone else's blogs (hopefully Jon'll do one about the meals on his Food Blog) and there'll be some good pictures up soon. Hm...I guess I should probably get back to the part of working that makes vacations actually mean something... Woo! Aught Five!