- So, you say you need a great way to fuck with one of your vacationing co-workers, but covering their cubicle in foil is just so passé? Well, I'm sure Mike's coworkers would have a couple of clever suggestions for you...
- While this is probably one of the most heinously laid-out sites I've ever seen, it's also a veritable comedy goldmine (providing you're willing to put the work in.) I'm thinking about trying my hand at some of those OSHA signs after consuming gallons of coffee and letting my caffeine-riddled id take charge...
- I can't decide which is worse in terms of journalistic integrity, grabbing your ankles, shitting out whatever press release Tony Snow just jammed up there, splashing it with colorful 3-D graphics, and tagging it as "news"...or saying "fuck it!" and just making it up? It's obvious that the only way this can be settled as a Thunderdome-style cage match featuring Jayson Blaire vs. Bill O'Reilly*. Shit, I'm going to get on the phone with pay-per-view about this right now! If this idea catches on, I may make a million by 35 after all...
- PS3 vs. Wii? Think differently. I know which one I'll be picking up!
- 5 albums in heavy rotation this week:
-Firewater: Psychopharmacology
-Shapes and Sizes: s/t
-Islands: Return to the Sea
-Tapes 'N Tapes: The Loon
-Teenage Fanclub: Bandwagonesque
*I actually checked the Faux News site to try and find the name of an actual reporter, but I'm pretty sure they don't actually hire them any more. It looks like what they're doing now is just grabbing other people's stories off Knight-Ridder and Reuters and having one of their 10,000 "Commentators" shout about it in highly arguementative tones. Additionally, going to their site also let to some information that reminded me why I stopped paying attention to the news in the first place (and why I rarely, if ever, talk about it any more.) Apparently, not only has the Terror-Threat-Level-ometer been raised from Burt to Ernie but, due to some Die Hard 3-esque "liquid-bomb" BS, you can no longer carry-on suntan lotion, toothpaste, or even fucking bottled drinks on planes! So now, the list of verboten items has been extended to such WMDs as nail clippers, knitting needles, and the most dangerous element known to man...water. Fuck trying to smuggle uranium, I know I sure feel safer now that the friendly skies are free of the deadly H20!
When reached for comment, every single fucking passenger from every single fucking interview from every single fucking news outlet could be quoted as saying, "Sure, it's a pain in the ass, but what are you gonna do?" Personally? Since we're gonna get fucked in the ass either way, why not just tell DHS and the FAA to go to hell, and get an IT?
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