I was going to make a clever soccer-related headline here...

...but then I thought, "You know what? Fuck soccer!"

How did soccer become hip all of the sudden? That's all I ever hear about anymore. Blah blah, "Brazil this" and "red card that." I mean everywhere! From friends who NEVER, EVER talk about sports down to goddamn video game sites, it's been buzzing around in the background for the past 3 weeks or so now. Did I miss something? I mean, we are talking about the same old soccer that I used to play on rec-league when I was a kid, right? They don't allow kung-fu or guns or chainsaw-equipped-robot-tanks out on the field, right? It's still just a bunch of assholes with high socks trying to kick a ball into a net, right?

I just don't get it. Maybe FIFA finally got around to changing their ad campaign to something with a little more kick (Edit: oh dear god, no pun intended) than their previous outings: "Soccer! If Argentina thinks it's cool, then it must be cool!" or "Soccer! The only sport more boring than Baseball." Either way, I ain't buyin it...